5 Tips to Cope with Lay-Off Survivor Guilt

Caleb Woods, Unsplash

You’re feeling guilty because you’ve survived being laid off by your organisation.

Maybe a controversial thought but one that has not been discussed too much recently.

Absolutely correctly there’s been lots written about the impact of layoffs, with advice and tips on how to approach getting your next job.

But surviving a layoff brings a mixed bag of emotions. On one hand, you're relieved because you still have a job. On the other, you feel miserable and guilt-ridden about the suffering of your co-workers and friends who have been let go.

You might be suffering from what author and consultant David Noer, in his book Healing the Wounds calls “layoff survivor sickness,” a toxic blend of anger, survivor guilt, fear, and anxiety that can cause sleepless nights, sinking morale, and plummeting productivity.

It’s not uncommon for the employees left standing to wonder

Why did I make it, but they didn’t? or How am I going to face my friends who were released knowing that they’re in a tenuous financial situation while I’m still employed?

Survivor guilt may be exacerbated by a perception that the company failed to recognise or reward trusted colleagues and friends and instead eliminated them.

Having been in this situation myself many years ago and currently experiencing it with a family member here are my 5 Tips to help you cope with that survivor guilt and hopefully move past it. There is no right or wrong way to approach this, but hopefully some of these tips will help.

1.     Process your feelings

When layoffs hit, our immediate reaction is often to panic. Try to overcome this panic and anxiety by developing a plan for what you’d do if you were laid off as well. It’s always good to be prepared….look at your finances, consider what you would need to survive if you were laid off, review your CV and identify what needs to be updated.

Your friends and family may tell you how fortunate you are to still have your job, but surviving a layoff can leave you feeling anything but lucky. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of your colleagues and your sense of stability. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people. 

2.     Extend compassion and support to laid-off colleagues

Continue to be a resource to your laid-off colleagues. You are going through a tough time as you attempt to regain a sense of the place that has been impacted by lay-offs. However, they may be questioning their ability to locate work AND how they are going to pay for rent, food, etc. It is only by helping others that we can begin to believe that others may step up for us.

Be available to recommend your friends and colleagues for jobs, post their details on LinkedIn, review their CV for them or remind them of their great strengths and the impact they had when you worked together. Above all, keep in touch on a regular basis and remind them that they’re still important to you.

3.     What’s within your control?

There’s a lot about this situation that’s not within your control. But there’s also a lot that is.

Your workload has probably increased significantly. That means it’s time to get better at setting boundaries. Begin by creating a list of your current responsibilities and prioritize the most urgent items. Then determine how many projects you can reasonably manage without negatively impacting your performance.

If possible, choose those that align the most with your skills and job role. At that point, set up a time with your manager to discuss your concerns and lay out your proposal. Approach the discussion calmly and be prepared to negotiate if necessary. 

It’s also within your control to plan your next move. So update your CV, reach out to your network to see what roles are available and scenario plan your financial situation if your status was to change.

Recognize that your feelings are normal and that you only have control over yourself. 

4.     Check in with your career support system

Think about those people who have your back and with whom you have frank and honest conversations about your career. They maybe a previous Manager or Leader, a colleague from a previous role or a family member.  These are your trusted advisors. They know you and have your best interests at heart. Check in with them for their assessment of your situation, discuss your situation and get their take.

During emotional times it can be hard to know if your careful analysis of the situation is the right one. It may be time to look for something new or upon careful consideration your long-term prospects in your position might be great.

5.     Remember your ‘why’

According to McKinsey research, 70% of employees said their sense of purpose is defined by their work. That’s why it’s a good time to remember why you joined the company in the first place. What was it about the culture or mission that attracted you? How do your efforts make a positive difference in the world?

More broadly, remembering what gives your work meaning will provide perspective and give you the energy and optimism to keep moving forward. There will come a time when those ‘left on the pitch’ need to get on with the job at hand.

You might be left behind but you are, as you always were, the primary actor in your career story. Picks your parts carefully.

Reach out if I can be of help on your career journey